Monday, April 7, 2014

White Horses

White Horses
I was born in 1978. The Year of the Horse. 
This was supposed to be my year. I had hoped for a smooth year, and all in all, I guess we can't complain. Not saying we haven't experienced our own hardships and failures this year just saying, we're all healthy and alive another year. I can say we have a lot to be grateful for. 

Mountain Momma;)
We were able to spend the last year in West Virginia. My husband, at the time, had a career opportunity with some friends and we took off for the new adventure. There were some really great posts on some of the more positive moments but in the end it just didn't pan out. Needless to say, we returned just 8 months later. It was a difficult time. We were insecure about our choices and we unsure for the future.
We spent most of our time tweeking our talents and redefining our needs. It was the time of checks and balances for us. Hardly successful at it, we became discouraged and frustrated with ourselves.
A few things we could find "positivity" in were that we were back in the familiarity of Utah, we were able to see beautiful east coast sights, made and reconnected with really good friends, and were able to travel cross country in safety.

White Flags
I decided to rewrite this post. I didn't like the way it was going. Most people that know me, know that I am non confrontational. I do my very best at peacemaking. My father, Major Nolan Brian Young was my mentor and next to Jesus, himself, the best example of a peacemaker.
When I think of how I want to be portrayed or remembered in life, I think a lot of my father's obituary. In his short life my father, along with my mother were able to love each other unconditionally and raise a family, nobly serve their God and countries and live life to the fullest, finding those silver linings. They were exemplary in proving that there was nothing more important in life than relationships and family.
Peacemaker til the very end, my hero, my father.
   (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/427446/DEATH--NOLAN-BRIAN-YOUNG.html?pg=all)
 "Nolan Brian Young, 43, beloved and devoted husband, father, brother and friend, died instantly from injuries sustained in an automobile accident July 7, 1995.
Brian was born August 29, 1951 in Idaho Falls, the eldest son of Nolan and Lois Young. He grew up in Idaho Falls, graduating from Skyline High School in 1969. He then served a two year LDS mission in the California Spanish Mission. He married Apaula Sulimoni Molifua (Suli) in 1973 in the Los Angeles LDS Temple. They have eight beautiful children.He joined the Army in 1972 and served 21 years before retiring as a Major. During his distinguished military career, he was awarded numerous citations and medals including the Meritorious Service Medal, the Army's highest peace time honor. He served twice as Company Commander in Wurzburg, Germany and Fort Irwin, California. His last assignment was working in the satellite and space technology at the Pentagon in Washington D.C. While in the Army, he earned a bachelor's degree in Russian from BYU and a master's degree in Physics from the University of Maryland. In 1993, he left the military and was employed by the Loral (Unisys) Company in Salt Lake City where he continued to work in space technology.
He was an active member of the LDS Church, and was ordained a High Priest. He served in many positions including the bishopric in two wards, Deacon's Quorum advisor, Young Men's president and Scout leader. He was a reverent man and lived the teachings of Jesus Christ with a strong testimony.
Brian loved music and shared his gift of song with his family. He spent many hours with his guitar singing with his family and friends. He was an intelligent, gentle, compassionate man, always ready to embrace a friend and lend a helping hand. Ever optimistic, Brian could always find a silver lining in any situation.
Brian loved adventure. He traveled the world over with his family, making friends everywhere. He had a gift for creating laughter and fun. Among his many talents, he was fluent in several foreign languages including Spanish, Russian and German.
First and foremost in his life was his family. His wife and children were his focus. His unconditional love, wisdom and leadership have given his children a lifelong gift of virtues and values that will endure for generations to come.
Brian is survived by his wife, Suli; his children, Shiloah and Clint Gilmore, Taaga James (T.J.), Maoputasi (Tasi), Lois, Gene, Anya, Jared and Kayla; his mother, Lois, his brothers, Dallan and Jim, his sisters, Deri, Teresa Hancock, Donna, and Susie Fuller, numerous aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews. He is preceded in death by his father, Nolan G. Young.
The funeral services will be held Thursday, July 13, 1995 at 11 a.m. at the LDS Hunter Second Ward, 3970 South 5200 West. Friends may call Wednesday, 6-8 p.m., at McDougal Funeral Home, 4330 South Redwood Road and Thursday one hour prior to services. Interment: Valley View Memorial Park.
Brian has returned to his Heavenly Father and is now rejoicing in a reunion with those who have preceded him. He will be sorely missed here by all of us who have gained so much from his time on this earth."  

I want so much to stay positive, encouraging and inspiring, not just for me but as a reflection of the wonderful legacy my parents created for us. It was after rereading and revisiting the memories of a lifetime that I have decided to keep this a living memoir of our family and experiences.  

It's the perfect time to reevaluate.
For my readers: Reinvest the value in yourself. Take yourself back. Own yourself again. You are the best you. I am inviting all to rediscover yourself, your dreams, your passions! Concentrate on the goals you want to achieve and steps to take to achieve it! 

I want to say that after years of struggling to find my self worth, I have discovered that even though we are created individually, not equally that I, me, you, him, her... am not and are not above or below anyone else. Put down the measuring tape.
Scrapes and bruises are inevitable in these mortal bodies. We can all rest assured that we are all faced with daily deals and compromises, validations and humiliations, successes and sacrifices, trials and triumphs, and so much more....
I have fallen off many horses. It's been choosing to get back on and moving forward that has caused the growth to happen. 
To ALL, in the words of a true friend:
"Buck up, I say," (C. Tanner,2014) Don't be afraid to live your true potential!